Welcome to Wanda's, or pseudocide335's, Tumblr. I am a weird person who draws some really weird (often gay) stuff.
I know it’s pretty dumb to actually try to apply logic to it, cuz, you know, APES TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND FIRE MACHINE GUNS, but I had two major questions for the whole movie.
1. Why are all the horses black? Was this a conscious decision? Did they see a paint horse and were like “Nah, fuck it, we wanna look like the Nazgul” and just eat it instead? And where did they find the horses? Just on some random farm somewhere? And why are these horses so chill with, like, explosions and gunfire and fucking monkeys riding on their backs? My horses were scared of GRASS sometimes. Brave creatures they are not.
2. They’re always saying how much better apes are than humans, but dude, chimps eat fucking BABIES. One ripped a lady’s face off. Why? No reason. I mean, sure, she put it in an environment not conducive to ape socialization, but at the same time, it wasn’t like she was abusing it. It just got up and ate her face. CHIMPS DO THAT SHIT ALL THE TIME. They’re like the little Hitlers of the animal kingdom, beating on lady chimps and getting into chimp wars and flinging mass amounts of poo before they mutilate one another.
Bonobos? Gorillas? Orangutans? Sure. THEY are probably way better than people. Bonobos especially, but I guess if we did an ape movie with them all conflicts would be solved with boning and you wouldn’t get a moment like this:
Instead you’d get lots of R&B set to scenes like this:
Because bonobos are a matriarchal society that solves all its issues with sweet monkey love. It would be a vastly different movie, I admit.
Anyway, chimps, get off your high horse about being so much better than humans. You are at least equally as terrible as humans are, and I’m sure if you were smart enough to dig up fossil fuels and burn them, we’d have the CO2 levels of Venus right now.
I for one would much rather be conquered and enslaved by bonobos. But that’s just me.
I don’t want to put it up right now because I’ve only got 50 pages, but I sorta want an opinion on it as it is right now. XD PM me if you’re interested!
Christian: “I’d like to know more about you”
Ana: “There’s really not that much to know about me. I mean, look at me.”
ARE YOU FUCKING FIFTEEN? THIS IS NOT WHAT ADULT WOMEN SAY IN FRONT OF DUDES THEY ARE INTERVIEWING.
I feel like if I watched this movie I’d have a rage about twice the size of the one I had while watching The Last Airbender. UUUUUUGH.
Whenever I see a blog or social media page with a whole bunch of passive aggressive posts about how people suck and they’re liars and they can’t be trusted and you just KNOW this person is talking about someone but don’t have the balls/fallopian tubes to take it to that person instead of clogging up their social media sites with shit no one else cares about, I just wanna
10 bucks they’re the same people who don’t make friends with women because “there’s too much drama”.
On the other hand…
It seems Europe and the US are alike when it comes to being okay with white people crossing the border.
- One of the first women to start her own independent production company.
- Earned her way to stardom without sleeping with executives for roles.
- Refused to date people for publicity just because 20th Century Fox wanted her to.
- Left 20th Century Fox because she refused to let them get away with treating her badly and paying her a tiny wage, just because of her “dumb blonde” image.
- Was only paid a fraction of her co-star’s wage even though she was the star of the movies and the biggest box office pull, but still went ahead with the movies because she was so passionate about acting.
- Studied method acting at the Actors Studio with Lee Strasberg, who said that she was one of his best students along with Marlon Brando.
- Had a personal library of over 500 books and rarely read fiction - she was desperate to learn and educate herself.
- Was sexually abused as a child but then went on to encourage the sexual liberation of women in the 1950s.
- One of the first people to speak openly about sexual abuse.
- One of the first people to openly support gay rights.
- Supported many charities such as the Milk Fund, March of Dimes, Arthritis and Rheumatism foundation.
- Donated her time and money to these charities.
- Visited orphanages and hospitals on her own time to surprise the people there.
- Married one of the greatest literary minds of the 20th century
- Suffered two miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy and still put on a brave face for her fans.
Sorry, did you say she wasn’t a role model?
marilyn is my biggest role model so don’t even go there
and let’s not forget this
Ella Fitzgerald was not allowed to play at the popular Mocambo, in Hollywood, because of her race. Marilyn, who loved her music and supported civil rights, called the owner of the Mocambo and told him that if he booked Ella immediately, she would take a front table every night. The owner said yes, and Marilyn was there, front table, every night. After that, Ella never had to play in a small jazz club again.
"She was an unusual woman – a little ahead of her times. And she didn’t know it." - Ella Fitzgerald about Marilyn Monroe
Let’s also talk about how every single one of her marriages involved some form of abuse, yet she still managed to be Marilyn Fucking Monroe and achieve iconic status that has lasted more than half a century. Like, for example, during filming of The Seven Year Itch, her husband at the time, Joe DiMaggio, beat her because he found her appearance in the iconic white dress—you know the one—to be too revealing.
Despite this, she went right back to work, and made one of the most iconic comedies of all time with make-up covering her bruises. Then, she divorced him. That might not seem like such a big deal now, but Joe DiMaggio was one of America’s most loved icons at the time, and divorce was still very, very frowned on. It could have irreparably damaged her career to divorce him, yet she did it.
Some of her most critically acclaimed films were made while she was married to Arthur Miller, who verbally abused her, put her down and constantly tried to tell her how she should do her job—a job she had been successful at for many years before he met her, I might add. Yet, even with this continued pushback at home in her relationship, she still made films that are considered some of her greatest.
During filming of The Prince and the Showgirl, her co-star Laurence Olivier—THE Laurence Olivier, one of the original HUGE actors of Golden Age Hollywood and a force to be reckoned with—bullied her on set and off, yet she still performed. Later, he would regret this and say that she was a fine actress who didn’t deserve his asshole-ish treatment of her.
Nude photos of Marilyn were bought by Hugh Hefner and published in the very first issue of Playboy, helping to launch an entire publishing empire, but instead of showing shame as would have been expected of a woman in such a predicament at the time, she shrugged off criticism, explaining simply, honestly, that she needed the money and wasn’t ashamed in the least.
Additionally, Marilyn struggled with severe anxiety. She had to steel herself before every day’s shooting just to go out on set and act, and though this caused many delays, she still did her job. Besides that, she had endometriosis, which is not exactly a picnic and can be a cause of severe chronic pain. She also had nervous breakdowns on more than one occasion, but recovered and went right back to work because she was a professional, God damn.
She was a woman who pushed to make movies that, without her involvement, might never have seen the light of day. Even though she never got to star in them, she was instrumental in getting such films as The Brothers Karamazov made through sheer force of will.
She read constantly, voraciously, and openly lamented her “dumb blonde” image in the media—not that anyone stopped calling her one. She wrote poetry. She worked tirelessly to become a better actress. Even as she was mocked and bullied by other professionals, studio muckety mucks and the gossip rags, she never gave up.
Though she experienced many difficulties in physical, emotional and societal contexts, some that she only just barely overcame, she fought her way through them.
So don’t you dare say she isn’t a role model. Sure, the iconic face, the reduction of her personality to nothing but pop art, that may not be a role model, but the flesh and blood woman behind the image most certainly fucking was. She was human. She had flaws. She had problems. She had fears and doubts. She had a traumatic history. She lived with these things, fought them, overcame them and here we are, fifty years after her death still talking about how amazing she was, all that she accomplished and everything she helped pave the way for. That certainly seems like the very definition of a role model to me.
AND THAT IS WHY I HAVE A HUGE POSTER OF HER ON MY WALL. FUCKIN’ QUEEN
"Ella Fitzgerald was not allowed to play at the popular Mocambo, in Hollywood, because of her race. Marilyn, who loved her music and supported civil rights, called the owner of the Mocambo and told him that if he booked Ella immediately, she would take a front table every night"
So it wasn’t about her race, it was because she wasn’t enough of a “star”. Marilyn Monroe did lobby for her booking, however, and her appearance was instrumental in Ella’s singing career.
Like when the woman/man has glasses and then they take them off and they’re like “OMG SO GORGEOUS!!!!”
I don’t get it. So I decided to try it myself. Here’s me, the gross pimple-faced nerd I am, wearing glasses:
So maybe if I just take them off—
DID I JUST-
WOW THAT WAS EASY. WITH A PERSONALITY CHANGE TO BOOT. MEN, HERE I COME!!!
Hey, so ya’ll remember my post about frickin’ goats, so here’s a post about rabbits. Keep in mind that I can’t do every animal— mostly just the ones I showed as a kid (and young adult). I know nothing about sheep or cows, outside of the fact that they are all adorable. So yeah.
So while you’re wandering around the fairgrounds checking out the bunnies, here is my number one tip:
DON’T STICK YOUR FRICKIN’ FINGERS IN THE CAGES.
Rabbits aren’t like cats/dogs. They don’t give a shit about you or your life or anyone. They will have absolutely no regrets chomping into your finger like a tasty carrot. Second of all, how would you like it if I stuck a finger in your eyeball? You’d probably punch me. Well, I’m sure rabbits feel the same way.
Also, I can’t believe I have to say this but DO NOT OPEN THE CAGES TO PET THE RABBITS. Seriously, are you people insane? Do I open your house door when I hear a dog barking to check it out? No. You’d think this sort of thing could go unsaid, but I have seen people open the cages and I have seen them actually take the rabbit out to hold it. Yes, this is a thing that happens.
Actually, my mother had someone STEAL a rabbit once. Who does that? My mother charges 30 bucks for one. Are you seriously so depserate for a rabbit that you can’t hawk over what it would cost to buy a pair of jeans at Wal-Mart? It’s not like it’s food or soap or something. This is a rabbit. Who will require food and care. You know, way more than the initial investment. So now my mom has to put locks on her cages. LOCKS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.Anyway, now that all that “common sense” shit is out of the way …
You may ask what this thing on a rabbit’s neck is:
It’s a dewlap, or what I call a neck boob. Like boobs, only females (called does) have them. But not all females! Certain breeds have them more than others. The rabbit above is an English Lop, and most of the does have them, including my own rabbit.
I’m not sure what they do exactly, outside of acting as a pillow when a rabbit is sleepy. Does only get them after puberty. NECK BOOB.
Secondly, there are a million different kinds of breeds of rabbits, so here are the weirdest so that when you see at the fair you can feel like a smarty pants for already knowing them.
The English Lop (above) is known for its impractically long ears. They’re also very large, about ten pounds. You know ‘em when you see ‘em.
The Flemish Giant:
They’re the biggest breed and probably the most chill. They are voted the most likely to smoke a doobie with you (seriously though, don’t)
The English Angora (what is it with English rabbits man):
Yes, there is a rabbit under there. They’re used for their wool, which, if not raised at a wool factory in China, is harvested through a simple harmless brushing.
Speaks for itself, basically. Lion. Heads.
Netherland Dwarf, the smallest breed:
I’ll probably get hate for this, but … despite the fact that most people reeeeaally want a Netherland Dwarf because “ooooh, they so cute!”, they’re actually a very high strung breed and not known for being particularly gentle. Honestly, if you want a chill pet, the bigger you go generally the better the temperament. So basically it’s like Chihuahuas vs. Great Danes. Which one is less likely to have a panic attack at a blade of grass?
Lastly, by my opinion one of the coolest looking rabbits,
The Belgian Hare:
Believe it or not, they are domestic rabbits. I’d compare them to Greyhounds. Pretty damn cool. They are also high strung and probably not the best first-time pet rabbit.
You may see a few pens with three rabbits inside. This is what’s called a Meat Pen. And yeah, it’s basically what it sounds like:
Try explaining THAT one to the kids.
Lastly, if you ever happen to come across a person watering some Mini Rex (which means they probably own them), ask politely if you’re allowed to touch one. They look like this and they feel like heaven.
Like stroking a cloud.
TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR THE PONIES!